Turning Tables

I have reconnected with old friends, friends that mean/meant alot to me, the relationships drifted due to the nature of life and my dissociative personality.

I thought it is gona be awkward! not at all, it felt like it was yesterday that we last talked!

Its a beauty to rediscover the gems inside the people you knew, and maybe visa versa 🙂

I felt comfortable sitting with one of them for hours on a pavement after sunset, nothing but cups of coffee and water between us, and years worth of absence to catch up. I spent a long weekend with another friend, i had a doubt that we will bond quite nicely, i was so wrong, the lost years has transformed this friend in a way that kept me in awe! i like to think i changed in a good way myself. The bonding and outings these past weeks are/were amazingly amazing!

I idolize my close friends, i turn a blind eye to the flaws of their personalities, even if sometimes those hurt me, assuming they do the same to me. but now, with reconnecting to old close friends, you start weighing your options, you start putting the flows of your other friendships under the microscope, you might find that not all that glitters is gold. you start seeing that there is no afterglow after the words fade, you start looking for actions and anything tangible, but alas… all of a sudden those friendships take a back seat in a long train.

I hate myself for being so dissociative, i hate the fact that those friends were absent from my life. i hate the fact that i might have put my energy in one or two friendships and left others out.

But no more! few weeks ago, a friend of mine showed me that i was wrong, the core of my relationship with this friend got severely shaken. but from this sad and foreseen incident came this new reckoning.

Sasha & Misha, its been almost 24 hours away from you, i miss you terribly my angelic monkeys, cant wait to be back to you.

Doomish:
Brave, Courageous and bold.
Long live his fame
and long live his glory.
Long may his worthless posts be told

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11 Comments

  1. WhiteRose

    Its been amazing time 🙂 i cant believe that last time we talked in 05, get back soon or i wont give back the babies

    Reply
  2. Noura

    I know the feeling exactly, I feel guilty that I have let go of some good friends and relationships out of laziness and high expectations in my case.. I tried but I guess I wanted to feel they are enthusiastic as much as I am in recharging the connection and felt that I was making all the effort and wanted to be at the receiving end for once…One sided relations are bound to fail, so I let go, it takes two to tango after all !!!

    I have a cat “Oreo”…. she adopted me and stayed after me until I opened my heart and home for her, she is not as cute as yours but in my eyes , she is..! I wish I can understand cat talk though, she’s been “talking” to me more than usual.. I like to think that she is responding to my ” keefek habibti” , “wein kenti or who is that cat you were talking to yesterday ” ??? 🙂 and no, am not crazy !
    “Turning Tables” reminds me of a song for Adele with the same title, check it out ..
    Forgive the long comment, it is my day off and Oreo is hunting lizards !

    Reply
    1. Doomish

      @Noura: To be honest, i dont feel guilty! i can throw in this reply many adjectives to describe my disappointment in some of my friendships, but… i will keep the good memories in the forefront, bury the bad for good and keep my distance.

      I have so many angry draft posts written on this the subject matter, but honestly, its not worth posting it.

      Yes, Turning tables for Adele! i thought it would be apt for the title of this post 🙂

      As for the cats, its the 1st REAL time i have pets, they are like babies, i gave them to Wildflower to babysit while im out of town.. and i do talk to them, with Miss Misha, we talk IT and geeky stuff, with Sasha the talk is typically about politics and football 🙂 so you are not alone in this Noura. i feel like a new dad, i keep taking pictures of them and posting them on Instagram 🙂

      My cats are less than 3 month old, their mini “meaws” come out typically when i clean them up after they do their business and fail to clean themselves properly :/

      Reply
  3. NOUB

    I’ve always had a limited no. of close friends. Many acquaintances (due to my professional & volunteer work) but close friends…very few. And the close ones are the ones whom I’ve known for a long time. To me, cultivating a meaningful friendship means long-term investment in terms of time and energy; hence, the limited number of friends. Some of my friends come to the foreground while others move to the background due to various reasons. But it is normal for any human being. I’m glad you’re reconnecting with old friends and wish you continued joy in their company 🙂

    Reply
    1. Doomish

      @Noub one of the friends are from the days of i2c 🙂
      well i agree with you, im taking the investment somewhere else, win some, lose some.

      Reply

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