All of us have a secret hidden in the deepest recesses of our mind and/or heart.

You might be married for millions of years, and yet your partner never knew/will know about this secret.

This secret maybe trivial in the eyes of others or means nothing to them, it maybe a phobia, insecurity, maybe you have a thing for the color pink or you might have a Justin Bieber fever, yet it’s your darkest secret, the secret that if out in the open, will make you feel like you are standing naked in the middle of your town with everyone watching.

For two thirds of my life I had this secret, buried deep inside, I only once thought of letting it out, yet, last week I decided that I needed to share it.

I wanted to know what it’s like to be literally an open book to the one you trust most, I previously had the thought to share it with a another friend, but luckily the opportune moment failed to appear, and trust was forever lost with that friend.

It took me few days to muster the courage, few days not knowing how would I structure my sentences, I was erratic, secluded and mute. My communication with everyone those days was limited to text/email at best.

This past Friday, I told this secret, after a couple of minutes talking, the weary feeling that I am naked and everyone where we sat was watching, hearing and judging me was gone, at thee most vulnerable and weak moment in my life, i was looking straight in my friends eye, desperately trying to read her mind through her eyes without success.

After talking for 20 minutes and finished, my friend told me: “Now that you told me, I have nothing valuable to say, I understand where you are coming from, how that what you told me might amount to your darkest secret, but to me it’s not big a deal.” She reminded me of a story that she once told me, and how that story was very sensitive and emotional to her, and compared it to mine. Few minutes later the topic changed then to something else and the night was good.

It’s always good to have a safety net, a friendship that withstands the hands of time. I now am sure I have a friend that I can really confide in even if I was at the end of this good earth.

Brave, Courageous and bold.
Long live his fame,
and long live his glory.
Long may his worthless posts be told.

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  1. Haitham Al-Sheeshany

    Thank you 4 sharing this, I realise how uneasy might it be.

    If I read this, or a similarity, a couple of years earlier I would have one direct thought (there is NO1 that can reach such a status, only our own selves can reach such state and the search for a person or his/her existence is just a flaw in human kind, a need to relate, to share, and to communicate) “which is not a bad thing, I am not going there. Simply that having some1 to share utmost secrets, no matter how one would define the word, is impossible. But we keep the quest anyway it is part of being human”

    Nowadays, I believe in this status-reaching-figure and I am happy you have such a person. The mere thought of having that person is a blissful thing. It might be that such a person would cease to be in that status, for whatever reason, but the possibility of gaining another, or the same one back for that matter, is in a way comforting.

    May I ask one thing please. When she replied: ” I have nothing valuable to say” was that in English or is this a translation from Arabic (or other language?). I am just curious of the choice of words, that is it”

    Thanks again for sharing.


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